I am often mistaken for my brother. Since he moved overseas a few years ago I have had people approach me and tell me personal stories. I stop them and explain that I have never met them before, that I am his brother.
He is well-liked by many, so experiencing this makes me feel closer to him. It also makes me realize that I have a reputation to uphold, to be kind to people as he is.
Tom deBruyn
When I was getting to know my sister who found us via DNA testing late in life, we felt like we were meeting as strangers on the internet. One look at each other in person, however, and the mannerisms and physical traits we share put us both immediately at ease.
Kylee Leonetti
People say I look like my mother and grandmother. I find having a physical resemblance to be deeply comforting, especially because of the racial differences in my family. We know we’re very lucky to have the family that we do. Being together, sharing history and stories while still having distinct lives makes for a special bond.
Arleta Little
I remember looking at photos of my grandmother as a little girl and being able to see how much I looked like her, and thinking it was amazing. It felt mysterious, but it also made me feel like I had a secret connection to her and to her story - somehow, it made it feel more real that she was once a little girl just like me.
Angela Wilcox
I am always amazed at the power of genes and the ability to make us similar and yet different. I look at my sisters and see my mother and when I look at myself I see my father.
Julie Hartley
Both my wife Sarah and myself were transracially adopted and grew up in caucasian families. We lived a life without resemblance. We both experienced growing up in homes where we were the only people of color in every family portrait. We have talked about this experience as a subtle, yet unintended, form of perpetual othering.
Mike Hoyt
My dad once told me, "Sasha, I'll never be dead as long as you're alive." I felt happiness and pride, and I was comforted by his idea of immortality. Parts of us carry on, traveling through bodies and lives of people we'll never know far, far into the future.
Sasha Aslanian
When I was young, I didn't want to look like my grandmother or my mother. Now I love being able to see the connections. I feel like I am part of something bigger than myself.
Lindsay Wessling
I love hearing the one of my sons looks like me or someone else in our family. There's a certain sense of pride knowing that some of the genes we possess can be shared and that people see it.
Deb Wieberdink
A physical resemblance can be a way to feel truly connected to your extended family, adding a rich layer to identity.
Elizabeth Wheat
Family is history and story, patterns and beliefs; it's the people who knew you when your identity was forming and can bring out the parts of you that most of the rest of the world never sees. Family is complicated and necessary and all of the best and hardest parts of love.
Angela Wilcox
Family isn’t only about DNA.
It’s about shared experiences and love.
Ann Ouellette
My identical twin sister and I were adopted from South Korea by an American family, and although we don’t look like the rest of our family, we look a lot like each other. Many adoptees of color, who grow up in non-diverse communities, often express a sense of loss because they don’t resemble those around them. Even though Sarah and I see the many ways that we are different from each other, we often take comfort in our likeness.
Megan Koh Eun Tulius
When I found out I was going to have a baby sister,
I wondered if she would be born with my amazing curly hair—and she was!
Owen O’Neill Ruzicka
People tell me all the time that my daughter looks like me. It’s hard to describe, but I really love when people tell me this. I think a lot of it has to do with being adopted and never hearing such comparisons with my parents and brothers.
Mandy LaBreche
As a part of the LGBTQ+ community, family has a dual meaning for most of us - your biological family and the family you choose (if you're lucky, sometimes they are the same). I love it that my daughter looks enough like me that others comment on it, and that she looks so much like her biological grandmother and great-grandmother. But I also think of her as her own person, not as an extension of me or her biological family. Her whole family—my whole family—is one that includes both biological and chosen family. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Jane Miller
Family is everything to me. Everything. I would do anything for mine, we are of the same blood, we are all connected through genetics, sharing something with only each other. Our bloodlines run thick.
Colleen Wuollet
I have been told I look like my mother and her side of the family. I think it gives me a feeling of connection to something larger: a sense of continuity with my ancestors and their lives.
Andy Froemke
Although our children do not share our genetics, they are biological siblings; adoption was how my husband and I chose to grow our family. I’m in awe daily as I notice the ways my children physically resemble each other,
in part because I never expected it. I also smile at their stunning resemblance to members of their birth family, and I’m grateful they will continue to get to know and see themselves in them—open adoption is beautiful in this way.
Tracey Ruzicka
I have almost every single one of my dad’s features, but I believe I have my mom’s smile. Resembling them makes me feel like I belong in this world.
Sydney Jackson
Family resemblance bonds you together. It's something that terrifies the kids because they don't want to imagine that we were just like them.
Glenn Gray
Every time I look at my kids and
catch a glimpse of my husband or
myself, I smile inwardly because I know
a little piece of us lives on in them,
whether they like it or not. Maybe
it’s hubris, but I think we all want to
imprint on our kids and have a little of
us live on into future generations.
Lisa Stein Taylor
A parent always remembers what it felt like to see his or her newborn child for the first time. It’s pure magic. It’s especially magical when the child looks almost identical to yourself.
Ike Whiting
Although I resemble some of the other members of my family, my likeness to my mother attracts the most attention. People say we look 'exactly alike.' They stop us on the street, in the airport, approach our table in a restaurant to express their amazement. By my mid-twenties I had grown accustomed to the intrusions. Now we easily pause our conversation and share our connection with others.
Dana Kathryn Kassel
Family resemblance is a rare glimpse into your past, present, and future. When I see me, I see them:
my dad’s eyes, my mom’s smile, my grandma’s ears (and feisty temper), my grandpa’s hands, my sister’s chin, my niece’s mannerisms.
Tera Busker
The six of us came to Minnesota in 1979, in the first wave of Southeast Asian refugees. It felt like there was no one here who looked like us, so our resemblance to each other was heightened in comparison to Minnesotans at that time. When there’s only six of you on Mars, family means everything.
Souliyahn Keobounpheng
I have spent hours poring over old family photos, noting resemblances between grandparents, cousins, siblings, and parents. It’s fun to find traits that skip generations, too. In my family, teasing out resemblances is a source of humor, storytelling, and bonding. Even though physical resemblance is just “skin deep,” I feel a true connection to family members—living and long gone—whose hair curls the same way as mine or whose eyes also disappear when they smile. And how fascinating it is to think that we can pass these resemblances along for decades.
Natalie Heneghan
I am adopted and never knew anyone who truly resembled me until I had my daughters. When people say my kids look so much like me, it makes me feel connected and like I have someplace to belong.
Jennifer Rotty
Resemblance reminds us that we’re part of something bigger than ourselves; that we’re made up of pieces of people who came before us, whether it’s a nose or
a laugh, a curve of the eyebrow or a facility with numbers. It reminds us that we’re not self-made, or immortal, or alone.
Angela Wilcox
Family are those people with whom, though accident of birth, you are affiliated for life, who you otherwise would not be friends with were you to randomly meet. I guess Family means complex relationships, caring, estrangement, responsibility and friction.
Nancy Moline
I love seeing my freckles in my children, it makes me feel like we’re passing on our Scottish family heritage.
Jennifer Brink-Edwards
Having a very outgoing older brother frustrated me for much of my upbringing. Now I find it funny how similar we look and sound despite how different our personalities are.
